realizations..

questions to ask yourself..

// who are you // why do you act the way you do // where does your worth come from // do you love yourself // can you handle being alone // what keeps you up at night // what is your biggest fear // what have you learned from your childhood // what has your past turned you into // how can you overcome your unhealthy cycles + patterns // who do you let define you // where does your joy come from // what dreams do you want to come true // what is your souls deepest desire // what are you unable to move forward from // why are you stuck where you are // what lies ahead for you...

the list can go on + on.
just questions I've asked myself lately.


realizations from therapy + from God given insight into my life..

// your own self worth comes from outside factors - people + how they treat you
// you act our of your emotions, always.
// you grew up in an abusive + unhealthy home where you learned toxic patterns & cycles.
// you have never felt loved by your own father
// you are constantly in search of validation, reassurance + acceptance from men.
// you cant handle being alone
// you are extremely emotional and sensitive + take every little thing personally.
// you are such a lover
// you have always been called a strong woman, but you are realizing that isn't really true.
// you are codependent
// you need constant love and attention from a man
// you are looking for "dad's" in every man you meet (as weird as that sounds)
// you have lost your own self-confidence and self-worth because of how you've been treated.
// you put others before yourself, and you lose yourself in relationships.
// you feel like a shitty person whenever a man treats you wrongly or doesn't show you love.
// you run back to the same problems your mom constantly ran back to.
// you have grown to believe that your parents relationship is just the norm + its acceptable.
// you have relationship problems with men because of your childhood.
// you feel stuck, like you can't get out..
// you constantly involve yourself with the wrong men.

the list can go on + on.
just some realizations I've had from God + from my therapist lately.


  Why does it feel like it takes so much effort just to love yourself? Why does the way someone treats you have the power to ruin your entire life? Why do you put up with certain actions from other people and still continue to go back to them? Why do you want someone to love you who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated? Why are you so stuck in a cycle that you desperately want to break out of? Why are you so broken down? Why are relationships so hard? Why do you let other people define your worth as a human being? Since when do other people have the right to disrespect you and be unkind to you? And why do you constantly go back to them, only for it to happen again and again? Why are people so selfish and so mean?

This blog post has no organization to it, it's just a way for me to vent.
but I'm unable to fully vent because I feel so stuck.
if anyone has gone through any of this, please message me + we can chat.


Love,
Natalie

Let Go

"Everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it."


Our impulse is always to hold on.
to him, to her, to it.
to the way it was.
to the way we hoped it would be.

but you need to let go.
let go of what is no longer serving you.
let go of whatever is keeping you from moving forward.
let go of whatever you're so attached to that you can't see where you're going.


let go of that relationship,
that friend,
that job,
that past,
that false hope,
that dream for the future.

Letting go is scary.
It's a free fall, an act of surrender.
It's releasing things you thought were important,
+ then being okay with the fact that they're gone.

tears are a doorway to the future,
+ so it letting go.

take responsibility.
consciously decide to let go.
take an active role in your healing.
be intentional about letting go.

we are not used to letting go.
we are used to handing on.
hanging on for dear life.
we hang on for a lot of reasons.
the past is known, but the future is a big question mark.
we think the past is the best there is for us.
our past is a comfort to us.
people are a safety blanket.
we are afraid to let go and free fall.
but in letting go we might actually be afraid of finding ourselves.

all of our memories have crafted our identity.
the way it was,
the way we used to be,
the way you thought it would always be.
these memories enslave us.
layer upon layer of memories we are hanging onto.
it's hard to let go of an old identity + move on.

letting go is belief that you will find better.
it's terror + freedom,
it's trust + faith,
its believing.

unfortunately there isn't always room for the old + the new at once.
we have to let go of the old, to experience the new.
we must free up our energy, our attention.
surrender leads to new possibilities.

and we must be okay with the fact that letting go could lead to nothing.
we could be left alone, + that's okay.
the old may not be replaced with a new right away.
we may be left with absence.

stop hoping things will change.
things will not change.
it's time for you to move forward.
don't let this person, or this thing, keep lingering there.
make a clean break + be intentional.
this piece of your life has served it's purpose,
+ it's purpose is finished.
you can't take it with you anymore.

know this,
in your emptiness, there is room for so much more.



be inspired.
Natalie

a constant in the chaos

life can be chaos.
it can be so much, all at once.
my life have been anything but calm lately.
i'm sure a lot of you can relate.

life can be lonely.
there can be so much going on around you,
but yet you feel so alone.
my life has been quite isolated lately.

and yet all around me is chaos.
tragedies, struggles, tears, strife.
from being a teacher,
to being a supportive friend,
to being an emergency responder,
to being a negotiator in the midst of fighting,
to being a leader and a mother figure,
i've been a lot of things lately.
and it gets hard.
simple as that.

thank God for good mothers.
and good coffee.
and drawing.
and working out.
and warm quiet apartments.
and good tv shows.
and loving pets.
and music.
these have been my sources of sanity.

in the midst of my chaos I feel very alone.
so much is going on, but no one is here to share life with me.
people are fleeting.
people are so inconsistent.
people leave you.
people come + go.
this has been my life.
and when someone comes back in, I try to latch on to them.
just to feel a little bit of love.
to feel safe + secure.
to have a glimpse of consistency.
even if it's the wrong people for me to be latching onto.

I think we were made to love, + be loved.
we are relational beings.
we want attention.
we want relationship.
and seasons of solitude can be really hard.
but boy, do you learn a hell of a lot about yourself.
and its raw.

i've been in a season of solitude for a long time now.
at the end of the night, I only belong to myself.
there are no consistent people in my life.
besides my amazing mother.
i've had a lot of people in + out.
but this has been more harmful than helpful.

I could go on + on about my life,
but this is more so an outlet for me, not for you.
a place to get my thoughts + my life down on paper.
well, sort of.
so I can see it.

how would I describe my life lately?
inconsistent.
chaotic.
confusing.
lonely.
soul-searching.
emotional.
emotion-less.
back + forth.
in + out.
here + gone.
gut-wrenchingly real.
so real.

I can honestly say I have yet to visit this place.
God has yet to bring me here.
so i'm still trying to figure out what to do exactly.
and it's a very inconsistent ride.

but God is good.
through it all HE IS GOOD.
he is a good Father.
and I love him as much now as I did before.
before this season he put me in.

a constant in the chaos.
a solid rock that will never leave.
when seasons change, he still remains.
when everyone leaves you, he is still here.
and he knows your heart, always.
I lean on Him right now.
because everyone else is fleeting.
people are fleeting.
emotions are fleeting.
situations are fleeting.
but God is not fleeting.

This song has been following me, closely by my side.
during this lonely season, I am reminded of this truth.
go listen.
for me it brings tears. and chills. and rawness. and realness.
He is a good father, and I am loved by Him.

https://youtu.be/VKvCpAFcjI8

God is loving you through this

God is loving you through all of this.
He loves you so much.
He just wants the best for you.
When we choose to turn away from God, we will always suffer a loss.
And trust me, the pain will come.
There is pain when we lose things that were gained when God wasn't in the picture.
Like a relationship that ended, because God wasn't at the center.
God is jealous for you. Did you know that?
Like a mother to her child, God would love to just take the pain away,
to suffer for us so that we don't have to.
But in suffering you grow. you mature. you're refined. you find yourself.
You learn.
You change.
And there is beauty from the ashes.
God takes what was meant for bad, and uses it for good.
He has that power.
Impossible things are done in the name of Jesus.
He can take the pain, and make something beautiful.
Turn our messes into masterpieces.

He is loving you right now.
I know you've heard the word "love" thrown around in your life.
many times you've heard "I love you" without the actions to prove it.
But God's love is different.
He loves you always. relentlessly. unconditionally. totally. fully. always.
And unlike people, God will never ever leave you.
He is loving you right now, in this battle.
He feels your pain.
He knows your heart.
He counts your tears.
He's watching you. and his heart breaks for you.
But you just have to trust Him with this.
Ask Him for that trust.
He's taking care of you, in this battle.
every minute of every day. do you realize that?
He loves you so much.
He's right here taking care of you. and he wants to give you His best.
He wants you to have all that he planned for you. his plans, not yours.
and His plans are the best anyway.
God is loving. caring. faithful. just. righteous. powerful. good. so good.
Know his characteristics. learn who God it is. It will help you.
Don't forget that God is loving you right now, in this battle you're going through.
and He will be faithful to you no. matter. what.

you are right where he wants you to be.
there is freedom in His name.
He can free you from whatever you are in bondage to. whatever you are stuck to.
do you feel claustrophobic? are you in captivity?
God brings freedom.
He will deliver you.
but He will deliver you in His timing, not yours.
Do you realize that he could instantaneously deliver you right now?
if he really wanted to, he could deliver you in an instant.
But sometimes that's not the point.
What does he need you to get out of this? what is He needing you to get??
trust.
He knows what He is doing.
Remember who you're dealing with here. the God who created you.

Can you say, "God you're good enough for me, no matter what I go through." ?
Yes there are bad things happening, but I cling to you.
I know you love me.
I know you want to be with me.
We have our own definition of need, but God is already fulfilling our true needs.
He knows what we need right now.
And you want to know the best part?
God is not uncertain about anything. He is certain.
God is not worried, he is not unsure.
God is certain about you. He knows His plans for you. He knows everything about you.


Just know that God loves you. real love. never leave your side love. rescue you love.
And while you suffer He is right there loving you.
teaching you.
shaping you.
molding you.
changing you.
healing you.
and it's all for your good.
                                          

 

 

To my women - know your worth

 

 

Women. Know your worth.

Know that you are worthy.

You are more than enough.

Know yourself.

And love yourself.

You deserve respect, love, faithfulness.

You deserve it all.

God loves you.

You are His daughter.

He has your back.

Don't let a man make you feel unworthy.

Don't let a man break you down.

Your worth, your identity, is not dependent on any man.

A man does not define you.

There is nothing wrong with being alone.

There is nothing wrong with y o u.

Know your worth.

Know what you want, and more importantly, what you deserve.

You need a man who wants you.

Not a man who needs you, or relies on you.

A man who has genuine love and adoration for all that you are.

A man who simply w a n t s you.

All of you, forever.

He will do whatever it takes, every day.

He will be there.

His love will be proven to you.

You will feel important.

His effort will be clear.

 

But when a man let's you down, know that it is not you.

That falls on him, period.

Do not take it out on yourself.

Many men like the idea of you.

But they are not mature enough to handle the reality of you.

Don't you dare feel bad about yourself when someone doesn't want you.

Or when someone chooses to hurt you.

It's not you, it's them.

It is their character, their heart.

Not yours.

Don't you forget your worth.

Don't settle for less than you know you deserve.

Be confident in being alone.

Until a man walks into your life and proves himself.

You have a lot of love to give.

You deserve to be picky.

If a man cannot step up to the plate

then be okay with that.

Walk away.

Trust God's plan.

Wait for the right man who will love you selflessly.

A man whose focus is y o u, and not himself.

Know your worth.

You deserve the best.

You are an amazing woman.

No man should ever define your worth.

You will always be beautiful.

Hold tightly to the One who holds your future. 

 

Let Him Win Your Heart

I have yet to meet a woman who dreams of a wimpy, insecure guy who has no clue how to lead or take initiative in a relationship. But few women realize that when they steal a guy’s position and become the initiator rather than the responder, they shape men to be wimps, not warriors. Most women are so eager for a guy’s approval that they carelessly throw themselves at any guy who looks their way. Among today’s love hungry women, a man typically doesn’t have to work very hard to win a woman’s heart and attention. In fact, often all he needs to do is flirt for a couple minutes and the next thing he knows, she’s completely given her heart, emotions and even her body to him. Just like settling for less than a Christ-built man, throwing yourself at guys cheapens the amazing work Christ has done for us. He gave up His very life to make women into his radiant princesses. So why should women take such a gift lightly  by throwing our feminine hearts to anything male that moves? Our heart, emotions, innocence and physical purity are gifts from heaven. These treasures are only to be entrusted to one man (our future spouse) and only after he is truly worthy of such a gift.

Though most modern guys might appear to want women who are aggressive and easy to get, this kind of femininity is not what will capture the heart of a Christ-like man. God designed men to diligently and valiantly pursue a woman. Guys are naturally intrigued by a woman of mystique, a woman who isn’t willing to auction her heart & body to whomever passes by. If a man actually has to work to win a woman’s heart, he will be far more likely to cherish and appreciate the gift he’s labored so hard for. On the other hand, if a woman throws herself at him, though he may initially respond, he won’t have much respect or appreciation for her, and he will never learn how to cherish the treasure of her heart.

 

“But taking the initiative stage with a guy, even in the friendship stage, can be dangerous. God designed men to be leaders, the initiators and the pursuers of a relationship. The way you approach the early stages of a relationship can set the tone for the entire relationship. When women pursue men, the man’s masculine role is diminished, and this hinders them from becoming the strong, confident leaders that God intends for them to be. When a woman takes a leadership role, she subtly disregards a man’s authority and position. If women take the lead in a friendship or relationship with a guy, the weight falls on their shoulders to guide and govern the relationship from that point forward- which is completely backward from God’s intent for relationships.”

 

-Answering the guy questions-
Leslie Ludy

Daughters of God

She wept and laughed with all her heart.
She owned her mistakes & continued to walk steadily down the path laid before her.
She had power & command, yet she never allowed it to strip her of compassion.
She had a great sense of humor.
She had clear direction and purpose.
She refused to negotiate with the enemy.


These are character traits worthy of every women's attention & development.


daughters are filled with love, beauty, hope and tenderness.
a daughter smiles, hugs and laughs.
she is a seeker of the truth and asks many questions.
longing to know who she is.
she is a friend, and a comfort.
a daughter is a precious pearl.


Daughters of God.


we are connected, us daughters.
we do not need to be related by blood, we are related by Jesus.
anyone who does the will of my father in heaven, is my brother & sister and mother.
matthew 12:50
sometimes we recognize our spiritual DNA inside of someone else.
we feel connected to them, somehow.
soul sisters and brothers and mothers...
we find those people who teach us something about ourselves.
we see ourselves in them.
they serve a purpose, maybe for a few months, years,
maybe for a lifetime.


Let your past be your teacher, let your future be your friend.


when I met with her, she always encouraged & nurtured the gift of God in my life.
each time I saw her she spoke words of reassurance and wisdom.
she dropped such things as precious jewels into my lap.
lessons she learned through hardship and suffering she offered freely to me.
and she was honest.
the greatest gift she ever gave me was her belief in the calling on my life.
she saw something in me.
maybe it was her own self she saw in me, for that season.
heaven only knows, but she loved me so well.


So you see, faith by itself isn't enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is worthless.


We all want to feel noticed, acknowledged, touched and drawn in.
In light of this, the house of God is where we should feel embraced, warm, safe & sound.
amongst other Christians we are filled up.
but our nurture should not be confined to the Christian realm.
we must then take it out into the world.
we must reach out and touch others everywhere we go.
so many daughters are out there waiting to be noticed.

what to do when the roof caves in

When it all caves in...
We must ask ourselves,  is a cave-in really happening?
We need to avoid "awful-izing" what is happening to us.
Level headed thinking.
What we think can totally skew what reality really is.


As Christians we think calamities should not happen to us.
It messes with our minds.
Our faith in God should prevent devastation from happening to us..
Right?
We allow small calamities, but never the big stuff.
We begin to question God.
Is he indifferent to the suffering of his children?
Does he not love us?


When our life caves in, many times the solution requires us to think outside the box.
And many times, our problems can be solved simply by changing our way of thinking.
Sometimes changing your way of thinking wont make the problem disappear,
but it can change the way we respond to it, and how defeated we allow ourselves to feel by it.
Is your reaction to one of life's problems based on what you truly believe.?
If you're a Christian who responds with doubt in God, is that truly what you believe?
Where is your faith?
Sometimes we respond to calamity in a way that is out of our character.
In those cases, we must stop and reevaluate ourselves.


To think is to apply reason to a situation.
To believe is to have faith in a situation.


But don't get me wrong,
there are some cave-ins that are out of our control.
When devastation occurs, we have two choices.
We can pull ourselves out from under the rubble,
or we can curl up and lie there,  in hopes to die.
Sometimes we feel such pain that our faith alters, or we lose it all together.
and sometimes we have no idea how to fix this loss of faith & doubt in God.


"I'll never fully understand evil, and why it hits some,  skips others,  or totally buries a few "


What I do know is this.
When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, the universe fell under the weight of that sin.
And we have lived under the rubble of that cave-in ever since.
God did not will for devastation to fall upon us.
To sin was a human choice,
We were meant to live in a world devoid of "cave-ins"
To sin was a human choice, and God allowed that human choice.
But now,  as we sit in the disastrous consequence of that choice,
God promises to bring good out of the bad.
That is his sovereign intent.

As hard as it may be,  we must believe that God will bring beauty from ashes.
That there will be beauty from pain.
God will work everything together for the good of those who love him..
We must believe that there are treasures found in darkness.
It may not be possible to see the good in the midst of the bad,
but we must believe that it will be revealed to us someday.
There is wealth for our souls hidden in the mess of those cave-ins.
And this wealth for our souls is the kind that can only be found in darkness.
In darkness, we discover God's abundant love.
it is a love that never fails, no matter what the circumstance.
Nothing can separate us from God's love.


Some cave-ins can be prevented,  others not so much.
In the beginning,  humans chose to sin, to go against God.
now we live in that consequence.
We choose to sin, others choose to sin against us.
this world is filled with good, and evil.
we will never fully understand evil, or why certain things happen.
but we mustn't blame God for devastation.
God loves us, and he always will.
he is the only constant,  good,  sovereign thing we have in this world.
Nothing will take his love away from us. Not a thing.
and even though our trials are unwanted,  unnecessary, & unbearable,
GOD WILL WORK ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD.

and that is a promise.
rest in him.
let him carry you.
held in his arms.





to be continued...
Natalie

Rare girl // hope like an ocean

The truth will set you free

Recognize your utter dependence on God.

You learn more from pain than you do from pleasure.

His wisdom is greater than ours.

God doesn't change, just because our circumstances do.

"Yes, but my God is in control."

Let this hope be an anchor for your soul.

God doesn't always remove the difficulty and pain.

But he will walk with you through it.

He is faithful.

 

He is constant.

He is only good.

 

He is sovereign.

 

And He will never forsake you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amen.

Nurture

//Nurture//
to give tender care and protection,  to help grow & develop.
to encourage to grow, develop,  thrive.


//The Need For Nurture//
Are we far too busy trying to survive, that we cannot make time to nurture others?
Far too often we are too guarded, wounded, afraid, broken... to open our lives to the
possibility of being nurtured.
Why? Because we have been disappointed in the past. We sought nurture and failed
to receive it.
But without nurture,  how can we ever expect to feel love? In order to receive we must
first give..
Learn to nurture others, wholeheartedly,  despite your past trials & disappointments.
Show love to others, show genuine care. Encourage them, protect them.
Nurture others and receive nurture in return.
God calls us to love one another.  To love our neighbors as ourselves.
To love without expecting anything in return. To be the light in the darkness.
And God will take care of the rest.


//Nurture is Expansive//
Parents, teachers, employers, government,  and churches, seek to meet the basic needs
of people. The every day basic needs of life.
But what about going beyond that.?
Food, water, clothes, shelter, money,...
what about nurture? where is the deeper meaning of life?
Nurture is not expensive,  its expansive.  And it can be freely given & received.
No matter who you are.
Nurture is the difference between simply survivng, and thriving.
We will cease to merely function, going thru the motions,
And we will flourish,  really live.


//Teachers Who Nurture//
This is where my emotions and passion lie.
Being a teacher,  I know I have the blessing of shaping children's lives.
Helping them to believe in themselves, healing their corruption,  their pain.
Reassuring them of their potential.
Showing them tender care.
A student once said "she saw something in me that I didnt even recognize in myself. "
Being that one adult they care look up to. The one person they can trust.
Giving them God's love that they so greatly deserve.
Pointing out their strengths, walking them thru their weaknesses.
Teaching them life skills, helping them be successful in life outside grade school.
Plant seeds, that if nurtured, will lead to thriving. Lead to flourishing.
Lead to them believing in themselves,  discovering hidden talents.
I have the career that shapes children for the rest of their lives.
Going to school each day without nurture in my heart, leaves them empty.
They need care, protection, encouragement and love.
Without nurturing teachers, students learn aimless facts, connected to nothing.
I help them to see the bigger picture, to connect it all to real life, to them.
I make sure they know of my love and compassion for them each and every day.

"The correction and the nurture that sweet, nameless teacher had released into
my life 13 years earlier had reached into my future and spoken to me when i was
ready to hear it. Her words served a purpose, and helped me to thrive. "


"There is something within you that this world so desperately needs."


"Children learn what they live. How you raise them will determine everything.
If mothers do not nurture their children, they will grow up to be self focused,
self contained and disconnected from the world. They will merely function,
meet their basic needs, and go thru the motions. However they will never truly
thrive  and flourish into all they are capable of being."


//We Need Something More//
Our individual souls remain selfish in the absence of a nurturing heart.
It appears that we are all afraid to give too much of ourselves away.
We go through the motions, meeting others needs,  with resentment in
our hearts, holding a grudge all the while.
We check things off our lists, living simply to meet our basic needs and get by.
But is this really living? We need something more.
People do not GROW beyond themselves if they think the world revolves around
them.
Far too often, what people want is contrary to what they need.

"No one gave me the tender encouragement and nurture I needed when I was
young, so it's too late and too difficult for me to give those to others."
//don't believe this for a second. Its a lie.//

With God you are renewed to start again, regardless of your past.
regardless of what others have done to you, God brings healing.
He teaches us how to nurture others,  even if we ourselves have never
experienced it.
There is rebirth, at any age and in any season.
God's word provides nurture and pruning.


//Where  We're Headed//
Where we are and where we've been is not where we are going.
Gods kingdom is not stagnant, we are not at a standstill.
We are constantly growing,  He is constantly pruning.
Life is constantly changing.
And Gods kingdom doesn't stop when we get to Heaven either.
It has only just begun there.
GOD IS LIMITLESS.
He wants us to believe that, and believe in ourselves.
With God all things are possible.
Nurture other's by opening their eyes to the endless possibilities.
Dont weigh them down with your own disappointments.
Don't try to spare them the pain by limiting their view on life.
Don't.
They will either inherit your fears, or God's promises for them.
the disappointment we have seen,  that is our story.
our outlook, not theirs.
Let us nurture others. Love them. Take a genuine interest in them.
Provide them with hope. Encourage them. But not limit them.

I seek to help position them,  but never limit them.
To inspire them, but never designate which way they have to go.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,  but that we are powerful
beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
we ask ourselves,  who am I to be brilliant,  talented, beautiful?
Actually,  who are you not to be?? You are a child of God. Limiting yourself
does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
it is in all of us. As we let our light shine, we subconsciously give other's
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from fear, our presence
automatically liberates others."

//Nurture Defined & Applied//

1. Tender Care
Taking a genuine interest and care in others lives. Being gentle 
With the sensitive areas in other's lives. Be tender with one another's
Spirits. There is never a need to be harsh with those whp look up to you.
If you are rough, people will not heal properly.

2. Protection
Don't live in a "mind your own business" type of world. We are called to
Be involved in each other's lives. To share one another's burdens.
If we see someone in harms way, we should intervene. We can protect
One another physically,  mentally, emotionally and spiritually. To protect
Is to prevent one another from harm, or damage,  or pain.

3. Encourage
The most priceless gift. To give courage, hope and confidence.
There is fear everywhere,  hearts failing. For you to simply tell someone
You believe in them is huge. Encouragement is not for your benefit.
Encourage complete strangers, encourage those you love.




More to come.
stay tuned.
God is constant.


Natalie

Fearlessly Single

Snippets from my journal, and the book "Fearlessly Single."

 

 

 

Women give up their morals at times, for the fear of being alone.

We want what it is we don't have.

Live by the world's standards, or live by God's?

God doesn't show favoritism.

Those God loves, He prunes.

It's all about purpose...and growth.

Women start dating ungodly men out of desperation.

Things always look easy when one is looking in from the outside.

God works everything together for our good.

He knew the mistakes we'd make, before we even made them.

And then He loves us until we heal from those mistakes.

Daughters, do not awaken love until it's ready. Song of Solomon 3:5

God works differently for all of us.

Soul ties. We were not made to become attached to anyone & everyone.

That tie is for our future spouse, to save us heartache and pain.

Unevenly yoked, a believer with a non-believer. Don't do it.

Your husband will father your children.

Think about it...

Humans, even if we do the right thing, part of us always questions our decision.

When will it be me?  I want that....

We ask ourselves.

Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. We must learn it.

It's not about getting married as much as finding the right person to marry.

Don't choose in desperation, but in calm, with a clean mind.

We become obsessive & consumed by it. You know, finding the one.

Don't you ever settle.

You will only suffer in the future if you do that.

Don't lose who you are.

Don't compromise who you are for someone else.

Christians still have the same desires as everyone else out there.

Watch out for the two-faced men, the one's who live a double life.

Acting Godly in church, then persuading a woman to compromise who she is.

What she stands for.

Selfishness.

Think about the type of men you gravitate towards.

"I tend to go for the fast ones."

We feel pressure from society.

Don't be lured by beauty, physical attributes. You'll pay the price later.

We long for men because there is something missing in us.

Loneliness tempts us.

But he is nice, and caring, we clique so well... we spend all our time together.

We are like an old married couple, but he is not a Christian...

What I did not realize was that I placed him in God's place.

No man deserves the love that is reserved for God.

We worship non other than God.

God is a jealous one.

Put God back in His rightful place.

The things of this world fade away, but God still remains.

After all, You are constant.

After all, You are only good.

After all, You are sovereign.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

New creation.

2 Corinthians 5:17-

Anyone who belongs to Jesus has become a new person.
The old life has gone and a new life has begun.

Form new habits.

When we accept Jesus into our lives,
when we surrender to His power,
when we accept His forgiveness,
when we seek His love,
when we ask for His strength & guidance,
when we find our joy in Him,
when we pursue Him as Lord of our lives,
we are a new creation.
The holy spirit makes its way into our hearts.
We will never be the same.
God has given us a new nature, a new self.
The original self, which He intended for us to be.
We receive so many blessings.
We see the world through new eyes.
Discipline and self-control are ours.
Our old self has washed away, a better version has come.
A sound mind,
one that isn't controlled by emotions, is ours.
This life is so much more fulfilling,
so satisfying.
It's what we were created for.
All it takes is one simple prayer,
asking God to come into your life.
Repenting of our sins and asking Him to move.
And he will NOT HESITATE.
He loves you.

You see, as humans we have a difficulty doing things in moderation.
We go too far,
simple as that.
We act out of emotions, what we feel.
But what we feel isn't always in tune with God.
What we feel isn't always what's best.
So we act out of emotion, we go too far,
and then we regret what we did.
We regret it.
I've learned to do only what is best for me.
Do I still fail at times, yes.
But I look at the big picture,
I look at the end outcome.
Should I find temporary satisfaction,
or long-term joy & peace?
Our earthly selves love being wrapped up in emotion,
but are our emotions leading us in the right direction?
How about we seek GOD FIRST.
Seek His wisdom, ask Him for His plans.
God knows best,
afterall, He created you.

Make the decision to not do what you feel like doing,
unless it's God's Will for your life.
Amen.

Be saved. Ask God into your life.
You'll not be disappointed.
How happy you will be.
I adore Jesus.

 

 

Exodus 14:13-14

 

Don't be afraid, just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Lord himself will fight for you, just stay calm.  

 There always comes a time of elimination.
The earth sheds each year.
The trees and flowers let go of their identity.
As the old identity dies, a new identity is born.
The body sheds constantly.
Some of it happens invisibly; so naturally
and silently that we do not realize it is happening.
The heart and the spirit also shed.
They shed the emotions and experiences that we no longer need.
They shed the things that stunt our growth.
This, too, is an invisible process.
Yet because of the energy involved, the emotional energy,
we often feel the emotional and spiritual shedding; 
it feels as if we are dying.
We are.
Just like the flowers and the trees,
we are dying to an old identity.
This shedding, or death, is not the end of us,
 it is the beginning..

Luke 22:42
Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours (always) be done.

The devotion for January 31, 2012
Trusting God through emotional trails.
That's the title.
Growing into a mature Christian takes time.
It doesn't happen overnight.
It's a process.
Little by little,
one experience after another,
God tries us and tests us.
He tests our emotions,
this helps us grow.
Difficult situations stir up emotions.
We see how unstable we are.
How in need we are of a Saviour.
How we cannot go through life alone.
especially with the hard stuff.
The night before Jesus' death he begged God,
"take this cup from me"
He was going through the hardest trial.
He didn't want to die,
but he looked past his emotions,
and said,
"not my will, but your will be done."
God's will.
Not ours, no matter what we are feeling.
God knows best.
You can make it through any trial,
with God.
Jesus wasn't led by his feelings,
we don't need to be either.
When God tests your emotions, seize the moment.
Let the experience change you.
Let it grow you.
Trust God with it.
God can bring peace and confidence
to any situation.
He purposes don't always make sense to us.
But He knows best.
I trust God more than I trust myself.
And i'm thankful for my challenges,
it has made me the woman that I am.
"Not my will, but the Lord's will."
He loves you.
 

 

 

 

Through the storm, He is Lord, the Lord of ALL.

 

Lord you make all things new.

Your love is never-failing.

Your grace is never-ending.

Forgiveness you bring.

Thank you.

 

 

This season.  

So much has happened this past few weeks.

Am I proud of it all? No...

Humans make mistakes, we are no where near perfect.

We get caught up in the wonders of the world.

Our flesh consumes at times.

I have regrets, I have sins, I feel the shame.

But God is good.

He is forgiveness. He is love. He is redemption.

The Lord makes all things new.

And the truth is, God has a plan for this life of mine.

He planned it out with much detail.

I pray that His plan will override my own weaknesses.

I pray that His plan will overcome my sins.

I was lost for awhile, which hurts my heart.

But God has called me back once again.

Over and over we try to run our lives.

Over and over we fail.

We fall.

But God is quick to redeem.

He brings us back each time.

Arms open.

Heart broken.

Loving us.

Wanting us.

 

 

Looking back. 

The past is so enticing, so tempting.
Things that once broke you, have now been healed.

And you find yourself wanting to go back.

Wanting the things that brought you pain.

But brought such a high as well.

What to do...

My heart has been so confused.

I've been in need of comfort, love, security.

Have I been looking in all the wrong places?

You better believe it.

Have those other people & things been satisfying?

You better believe not.

Have I sinned and fallen away from the Lord?

Unfortunetely yes.

Do I miss my God?

With all of my heart and soul.

Am I ready to go back to where I belong?

I'm ready.

Take me as I am.

Jesus Come.

 

 

Anchored.

I'm anchored in who I am.

Who I've become.

I know my heart, my soul.

I'm secure in myself.

I'm grounded in truth, God's truth.

I'm firm and secure in the Lord.

In His love for me.

In His hope.

In His life.

I'm anchored to the Lord.

Forever I will stay.

Secure.

Complete in Him.

Do I forget that sometimes?

Absolutely.

But does that change the truth?

Does that change who He ultimately is?

Does that change the fact that He loves me,

the fact that He'll always be there?

Absolutely Not.

He loves me.

 

Future seasons.

 College graduate.

Still can't believe it.

My dream from childhood is in the midst.

My passion is here.

The finishline has come.

A teacher.

A TEACHER.

Somedays it brings tears to my eyes.

Now what?

My college journey has come to an end.

well for now.

I have the anxiousness of finding a job.

We are told not to be anxious.

It is easier said than done at times.

will I teach soon?

How long until I find a full-time place?

My own school, my own classroom.

Where does God want me?

He has a plan.

He has brought me this far.

He won't give up on me now.

Lead me in your ways Lord.

Show me where you want me to go.

And help me get there.

Without God I can do nothing.

Teaching is my heart.

Children are my heart.

Teenagers are my heart.

Shaping.

Molding.

Educating.

This is me.

This is what I was made for.

I just need to find that security.

Find that job.

Figure things out.

And that is where I stand right now.

Time will tell...

 

 

 My heart.

My heart is heavy.

My heart is lost.

My heart is anxious.

My heart is wanting.

My heart is hurting.

My heart is ashamed.

My heart is lacking.

My heart is empty-feeling.

 

But God heals,

God provides,

God fills my emptiness,

God shows me strength,

God fills me with hope,

God restores,

God re-claims,

God brings peace,

God is all-knowing,

God leads me,

God holds me,

My God loves me.

Amen.

 

 

The God of angel armies is always by my side.  

Healing come.

 

Still my anxious heart

                                             Forgetting the past... Looking forward...

Phillippians 3:13

Still my anxious heart, Lord.
Let His word be my strength, and hold tightly to His promises.
Never settle, although conviction doesn't let you anyways.
A Godly spouse is a must. Period.
Be with someone who lifts you higher, who leads you to the Lord...
Not away from Him.
Light and darkness cannot work side by side.
Life starts when we leave our comfort zone.
Rely on God, not other people to satisfy you.
Be patient. Pray for patience.
With God all things are possible.
Seek a community of believers, those who share your heart.
Hope, even when you're all alone.
Trust God, even if you feel like doing the opposite.
Don't compare yourself to others.
Leave a relationship if you're staying merely for the comfort.
God gives you the desires of your heart.
Don't worry, God will answer your prayers...
It's just on His timing, not yours. God knows best.
Don't fear the future.
Be an optimist.
Let go of the things that weigh you down.
Don't worry about those who hurt you, God will deal with them.
Trust God, even if your heart wants to do the opposite.
Never seek retaliation.
No power can stand against God and His plans.
The devil cannot stop God from blessing you.
God loves you.
Why wouldn't God want what is best for you?

Song on my heart: I will rise- Hillsong United


There is so much going on in my heart lately. such discontent & eagerness. a lack of patience. the list count go on. But at the same time, I know that God is among me. He is leading me. I need only be still. And trust Him even when it hurts.

It's been awhile. here we go again.


Life hurts. God heals.
Love is patient. It's patience.
God doesn't make us selfish people.
We were made to be more.
We were made to be in His image.
This life in not OURS.
Love has self-control. It isn't easily angered.
I put my faith in God, not people.
I'm worn down, i'm disappointed.
I feel discouraged. But my hope is in Him.
He has it all planned. He knows.
Nothing gets to me before going thru Him.
He permits things.
He brings things on purpose.
But all of this is for our own good.
God is nothing but good. No sin in Him.
No evil in Him. He is all good.
God is able to do more then we could ever dream..
More than we could ever ask for.
He gives us the desires of our heart.
Those desires that are good.
We are not to settle for less. ever.
Our heart knows. God has put his plans in our heart.
When we aren't aligned with Him, we know it.
We are want to feel loved. to be wanted.
And sometimes we don't accept God's love as enough.
But it IS enough. it is...
Oh the things we think we know.
But honestly we really don't.
We need to believe that what's meant to be, will be.
No need for worries.
Trust God. afterall He made you.

Quotes, images, photography.
It brings out the depths of my soul.
It tells my story. the words i couldnt say.

Fall season. my ultimate. love.